What Happens Backstage
by Revenge and Rainbows
Summary: The choirboys are forced to put on a production of Les Misérables! Simon looks adorable in his Marius costume! Is Javert-erm, Roger, jealous of the girl who's playing Cosette? Jack should really stop whining about his Valjean costume, really. It's like high school but not quite as stupid! Who the hell owns a turtle? Roger/Simon oneshot. Rated T for swearing.


**Hi everyone! So I'm just going to get right to the point here:**

**Merry Christmas! I hope you all got everything you wanted, Hanukah and all those other awesome holidays included! (Prussia approves)**

**This story will not be a Christmas special, it will be a Les Misérables special because it's coming out today.**

**I saw it, it's fucking amazing. I cried throughout the whole movie. Drop what you're doing and go see it right now. I don't give a fuck about what you're doing. Hell, even if you're going into labor, just leave the hospital or subway or back of a minivan and go see Les Misérables right now. Or else I'll send Russia after you. **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN LORD OF THE FLIES…OR LES MISÉRABLES, FOR THAT MATTER. KAPEESH? GOOD.**

It was that time of year agai-no that beginning's stupid. The Ohmygodit'sacat theater was putting on its annual holiday musical, and this year it was _Les Misérables_ because that musical's kickass. And guess who the cast was made up of? That's right, Jack Merridew and his choirboys. Jack got cast as Valjean, thanks to his insane vocal range, which was just right for Valjean. Roger, who was more or less forced to do it, was cast as Javert (who is, in my opinion, the best male antagonist in any musical ever. Go Javert!), that lucky fuck of a gun. Simon, who eagerly joined because he knows that Les Misérables is the best musical ever, was cast as Marius, and was overjoyed when he got the part. But Roger was feeling greedy and wanted Simon all to himself! He didn't want him doing romantic scenes with the two girls who played Éponine and Cosette! Roger even cross dressed one rehearsal day and begged to be recast as Cosette! Okay, I might have lied about the cross-dressing part, but Roger wasn't happy because Simon was his wife. Simon just didn't know that yet.

Anyway, Roger was sitting at a small table backstage, contemplating whether or not he should kick little Henry, who was in his Gavroche costume. He knew that he would probably get yelled at, but any way to keep him entertained might be worth it. Now, Roger wasn't at all nervous. He thought the whole idea of doing a musical was stupid, and he'd much rather be at home blaring _Green Day_ and _The Offspring_ from his iPhone and torturing his neighbor's pet turtle. Why his neighbor had a pet as boring as a turtle was beyond him, but that's not the point. Main idea, Roger thought musicals were stupid and unrealistic.

Roger turned around and stared absent-mindedly into the mirror, his dark grey eyes reflecting his gloomy nature and his black hair under a small cap. He had to admit; his costume was pretty fucking sweet. He got to wear black for his Javert get up, thanks to his badass persuading skills and a very weak-minded costume designer. From the corner of his eye he saw Jack, having a panic attack about how awful he looked in rags. Well, that's part of what comes with playing Jean Valjean. Behind him, he heard the obnoxious chattering between two girls in the ensemble, the girl who played Fantine, and the girl who played Cosette. He kind of really wanted to smash their faces into dust, but, of course, there were consequences that would follow that. After a few minutes of being bored, he just decided to think about how fun it would be to murder every single person in this theater. Yes, it would be truly exciting to paint the walls with their crimson blood and laugh maniacally as seeing the fear in people's eyes fed his hunger for pain. Blood, blood, blood…

"Roger?" Roger turned around suddenly to see Simon standing in front of him. His shy demeanor, and the terror that rose inside of him whenever he saw Roger, were prominently displayed through his large green eyes.

"What?" Roger growled in response. Simon started playing with the end of his poofy shirt and looked at the ground timidly.

"I…I just w-wanted to say b-b-break a leg," he stammered. Roger smiled at how blatantly obvious it was that Simon was scared shitless. Here's the thing: Roger was really only interested in Simon because he was so scared of him, and maybe a little because he was kind of hot. But anyways, there was an excruciatingly long, awkward silence that followed Simon's comment. Now, Roger was usually perfectly fine with awkward silences. In fact, he enjoyed them because they usually made the person he was talking to go away. But this time, he didn't want Simon to go away. So, because he was bored and now was as good a time as ever, he kissed him. Very forcefully. He could feel Simon squirm, but Roger did _not_ want to let go. However, he finally had to come back up for air, but not before he nipped his bottom lip, just for extra measure. Of course Roger smirked for half a second when Simon winced in pain.

"Uhm…I…" Simon blushed and hurriedly ran off, leaving Roger to just glare after him. Am I the only one who finds it funny that nobody else backstage noticed that Roger kissed Simon? No? Okay then…

"Quick vocal warm up!" the vocal coach called from the piano. Letting out a groan, Roger stood up and dragged his feet to where the others were gathering.

**So how was it? Don't you all just love oneshots? Remember to go and see Les Misérables! It's amazing and it made me cry really hard!**


End file.
